Get a Clue

Working with the public (not necessarily at large) you run into things that make you go WTH? (Trying to keep it PG13 here).

If you buy something that is supposed to work by doing A---->B---->C why do you complain when you don't do it that way and you do X---->Y---->Z? Then when it doesn't work or you totally mess it up...you expect people to rush in like the calvary to fix your screw up?!?!?

It's like being at the circus trying to clean up the elephant mess with 1 ply generic toilet paper with long finger nails! There are NOT enough rolls of toilet paper in the world for that type of mess!

Seriously when I was a consumer in a certain type of business I would have NEVER called into technical support and embarrass myself when I know I did something to really mess it up. Can you imagine this conversation?

Lady: "Oh my gosh, you have to help me."
MS: "What is the problem?"
Lady: "I was in my files on my computer and I accidentally deleted them."
MS: "Ok, have you gone into the Recycle Bin and tried to restore them?"
Lady: "Um, no...I think I cleaned the Recycle Bin out too."
MS: "You think you cleaned it out or did you really?"
Lady: "Well, if I did, you have to GET THEM BACK!! OMG my boss is going to kill me."
MS: "Which files did you delete?"
Lady: "Um...I did a control-shift-A and then hit delete when I was in the C drive. Now I can't even turn on my computer!!! You have to do SOMETHING!!!"
Lady: "Well ma'am, you will need to find your Operating System disk and reload. You wiped your computer clean."
Lady: "I don't know what you are talking about?!?!? JUST FIX IT!!!"
MS: "Sorry ma'am, if you can't locate the OS disk, there isn't much I can do."
Lady (crying hysterically now): "But you HAVE TO HELP!!!!!"
MS: "Ok, this is what you do...take your purse, go to Best Buy. Find the first salesperson in the computer section and BUY YOURSELF A NEW COMPUTER!"

Okay, they really wouldn't say that but that is what they are thinking. Seriously though...I wish you could buy clues at Walmart!

Certain things should not be okay in adulthood...

• Like, saying like and you know. ALL THE TIME....Like you know, we went to this movie, we liked it, you know. 

Um, no I didn't realize that you you like, liked it.

• Short tight shirts with low rise jeans. 

Muffin-tops should only be found in the kitchen or bakery wrapped in little fluted cups. Really, you don't need to wear mom-jeans but just get a size that fits you...Your body will thank you. Stacey! Clinton! Help is needed in aisle two!

• Ohhh, I know, right? 

Really? Do you have to let everyone know you know but then need affirmation that you know?

• Ugg boots with shorts

Just something wrong with that. Just because Britny can pull it off, doesn't mean you should either. You can tell the people that don't have to wear boots in the winter. All we want to do is get them off and put on the flip flops as soon as the snow melts. Besides, can you imagine the funk? If its warm enough to wear shorts...ditch the Uggs. 

Monday, Monday

Yes, it is another Monday. It says so on the calendar. Even if I didn't have the calendar, I would have known it was Monday. How? Just by the way people are on Monday. It's like Monday gives people a right to be crabby...sorry, last time I checked, it wasn't in the constitution. But then again, there are a lot of things going on in the world that people call rights that aren't in the constitution...but I won't get political on you. HEY! I heard that sound of relief from all the way over here! Seriously, you DO NOT want to get me started on that topic...and I promise to stay away from it...at least most of the time (giggling to myself).

Monday wasn't all bad but why is it that we feel so tired on Mondays? Is it because we live for the weekends and work (play) ourselves to the point of exhaustion? Or is it that we just know what is heading our way? 5 days of sheer h-e double hockey sticks that the thought of it just wears us out? I am beginning to think that way.

Even if I start out wanting it to be good, it seems like there is one person who just sets out on the day with their mission being...ruining everyone else's day. You know the one...when you call them and ask how their weekend was and they start telling you how bad it was that little Johnny was puking, dear husband was PMS'ing, teen daughter was out drinking. Really? Was there anything good in the WHOLE WEEKEND? Don't get me wrong, I am just as guilty as the next person and I have to catch myself to try and be more positive. So, I do what we all should do, hang up on them. Did I just say that? Yes, but I was ONLY KIDDING!  I know, you feel like doing it, admit it. But we don't, we let them talk and we let our minds wander to our special place. It's what people do. Most of the time, even something bad in my weekend doesn't seem so bad by those standards.

So when people ask you how your day was...try to stick some positive things in there. Oh, and how about asking the other person how their weekend was? I know everyone has a pet peeve for Monday, what is yours? Leave a comment and you never know...I may run with your idea! p.s. I hope you like the pictures...I hope they put a smile on your face today!

Attitude adjustment received...whew!

Today was a MUCH better day! Started the day out bringing youngest to catch the bus to his first track meet, AFTER my first cup of coffee...gotta love that Coffee-Mate Peppermint Mocha creamer is no longer seasonal! I came home and made cupcakes...I found an amazing recipe Peanut Butter Cup cupcakes . As usual, I didn't look at the recipe and found I did not have plain sour cream so I substituted buttermilk for the sour cream, I didn't think that the Top the Tater would go well with PB...can I say AMAZING frosting? In fact this website has so many nummy recipes that I have to share the main site with you as well...http://hoosierhomemade.com/

I even managed to get my house cleaned! All in all a good day made better by the fact that my kids and their friends are downstairs where I know where they are, the cupcakes were amazing and I didn't have to work...and that is a good day in the world!

Happy Saturday night!

Attitude Adjustment Needed

Ever have one of those days? Or even weeks? This week has done it for me. My attitude officially stinks. It stinks worse than walking across a wet soccer field in spring after geese come back. It stinks worse than a minivan filled with soccer bags and smelly girls. If you have never had that pleasure, I swear it's worse than hockey bags! I need a serious attitude adjustment and I need it NOW, doggonit! How can I soar with the eagles when I am surrounded by turkeys?

So, you may be asking yourself...why is she in such a dither? Let's just say I have had it up to here with other people telling me how to do things in my professional life when my track record has proven itself to be above board and results driven. Don't get me wrong, I am all for learning how to do things differently if it means I can do my job better and create better results. Just don't tell me to change my ways when it only benefits you!

Ok. Rant over.

Things that I am Thankful for Today:
1. My family...they keep me sane through the crazy days.
2. My friends...they read my rants and empathize!
3. My job...it keeps my roof over my head AND lets me work from home.
4. Springtime...the days are longer and the sun is shining...
5. Coffee...the caffeine gets me going on days like these.


So as I go off to plan my attack for the day...remember tomorrow is another day...and it is Saturday!

Would you just move it?

As I have mentioned before, I live a few miles out in the country. No matter where I go, it takes 20-30 minutes to get there. Grocery store...20 minutes, to the mall to shop...20 minutes, pick up a sick kid from school...20 minutes. So every time I have to go somewhere I lose time in my life that I can never get back. Just think if you add 5 minutes on to every trip to town, there and back, how much time that is!!!! Jeez, I could spend that time doing more important things...sheesh.

For those of you who know me...or at least have gotten a glimpse into my life through my ramblings and rants, might have figured out by now that I am not the most patient in the world when it comes to slow drivers, okay slow anything! To make matters worse, I live in the tundra of Minnesota where we have snow or rumors of snow for 6 months out of the year. Yes, I AM cracked in the head for still living here, don't rub it in! But with snow, or heck even the POSSIBILITY of snow, some people simply CANNOT DRIVE in a reasonable manner. You may ask the following. "Reasonable? Whatever do you mean by reasonable driving?"

Well, let me tell you. Reasonable driving means the following...and if you can't do it...just move aside! Or in some cases, GET OFF THE ROAD!!!

• In a 50 mph speed zone...can you at least TRY to get the speedometer up to 45, 50 would be nice but that might be asking you for things you just cannot accomplish. Any slower than that and our cars will be so close, they might have babies...just saying.
•  Did you ever wonder why they painted that line to curve towards the side of the road??? Yeah, THAT one...its a turn lane...you use it to TURN so other cars can keep going! 
• For those turns that don't have a turn lane, but also don't have a stop sign...don't stop before you turn. It may be hard but you CAN turn just by slowing down to a safe speed! Try it, you may like it.
• When traveling down the interstate...the rules of the road dictate that slower drivers need to travel in the right lane. This is so faster drivers (like me) can pass you! In some states, they even have reminders along the side of the road to do this...if you can't read them, should you really be driving?
• While we are on THAT subject...Most cars now have a great technological advancement called CRUISE CONTROL...it keeps your car at a steady speed. No more up and down, up and down in your speeds! You can finally get rid of that malady you thought was motion sickness! So, no, it wasn't the other cars who couldn't figure out their speed and kept passing you...it was you all along.

Now on to parking! I understand that sometimes, it's hard to see the line when it snows. But if there is just a dusting..--------> 

You can still see the lines well enough.....

This next one takes the proverbial cake. Now I get a tad bit miffed when someone can't park between two lines and takes up two spaces in a crowded parking lot...but how in the world can you not see that you have parked like a total idiot?  And that is the world according to me...at least for today!

If you can't say anything nice....

Have you ever heard the saying "you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar"? I never really, truly appreciated that saying until I started working with the public. It always amazes me when see someone that is being such an A**hole that all you really want to do is just hang up on them...of course, after telling them where to go and how got get there...ok, see that crack in the earth? Ok...see that hot magma boiling? Yeah? Ok, well, there's a guy down there who has several alias', you may want to pay him a visit. I think you get my drift.

Like in restaurants...I understand when you order something and it's just not right. After all, you are paying for it, but do you really, really want to yell at the poor waiter or waitress? It really is the cooks fault...your best bet is to be very nice about it...you just never know what extra condiments are going to be added. Those crunchy's on top of that augratin potatoes? Dried boogers anyone? That extra smooth gravy with that ONE lump? I am thinking someone has a nasty sinus infection. Yeah, I could have save the visuals but what fun would that be? Be nice and ask what can be done, don't demand...and don't not tip the waitress...talk to the manager if it's not settled to your satisfaction.

Just a little anecdote, we were at our local pizza place and we sat down, ordered (the manager came and took our order, a minute later, our waitress came and was surprised our order was already taken.. we waited...and waited. You could tell they were busy and when our waitress came to apologize because it was taking a while,  we assured her it wasn't a big deal. A few minutes later, we see her coming, as she is walking to the table with the hot pizza in her outstretched hand, some unseen force just tilted that pizza off the pan and on to the floor. At that point, I felt so horrible for her. When she approached the table you could see the fear in her eyes, just waiting for the dressing down...she offered us bread sticks while they baked another pizza. Each time she came to the table, I thought she would burst into tears. She seemed utterly defeated.

Yes, we could have got mad, yelled and made a scene. What did we do? We ate our pizza (num, btw) and left her a 30% tip. On the way out I told her that everyone has bad days and it can only get better. She told me that she is a single mom, working the waitressing job AND started back to school in many years just that week and was overwhelmed by everything. So, when you want to get crabby at someone...step back and stop. Stop and think, what kind of day has that person had up until now, a little kindness can go a long way. I hope I made a difference in her week.

Remember When?

As my kids get older, I think back on the time when they were younger and life seemed more simple. Hectic, but simple.

Remember when:

• the question of "why" was simply answered "because I said so"?
• you didn't like their friends, it was as easy as not allowing them to see them?
• they didn't want to eat something, you could still get them to taste it?
• you could pick out the clothes they wore without "aww mom...that's so not cool"?
• you could still surprise them at Christmas? 
• Christmas was still cheap?
• your birthday cakes didn't have to be amazing looking, just that you made it was good enough?
• "can I have an allowance" meant not cleaning out your wallet?
• play jeans only cost $15?

Granted, there are things that I do like now that my kids are older and I plan on taking full advantage of them as much as I can.

Things to look forward to as your kids get older:

• date nights no longer need to be planned out like a full scale military exercise.
• you don't have to budget for babysitters for those date nights, you can get that rib-eye instead of the chopped steak.
• Run out of milk? Text the teen driver and ask them to stop on the way home. (Of course with the no texting rules in place!!)
• younger son needs a ride to soccer practice, the ski hill, a friends house...oh number one daughter.. for the price of the car...YOU WILL CHAUFFEUR HIM AROUND!
• Birthday presents can be cash! I know, that was a 'remember when' moment too...catch 22, what can I say?

I love my kids and I wish the time wouldn't have gone so fast but I would not trade it for anything in the world!

Chocolately ooey-gooey goodness

I while stumbling this week I came across a recipe that included 2 of my kids favorite things in the world...Oreos and marshmallows! I saw them and just knew I had to make this wonderful treat. As much as I would like to claim credit for this amazing recipe you can find it here Picky-Palate. She even has one with Nutter Butter cookies that I shall try sometime in the future. I plan on perusing that blog for more recipes! They don't look as good as hers but really, does it matter?

I love to cook! The problem I have is that I hate, hate, hate cleaning up. When there is something new on the table, my hubby has to ask "is this a recipe or one of your creations?". I admit to rushing into the kitchen at 5:00 and asking what's for dinner? Only thing is, I am met with stone cold silence because, oh yeah, I AM RESPONSIBLE for figuring that out! Dangit! So I go to my pantry, refrigerator, freezer and pull out what I have.
Does it always turn out good? Not always. There are times when my family will tell me, "it's okay but we won't be upset if you never make that again"...loving words when it turns out bad. Most times it does and boy, I wish I could remember what how I made it! I will make a pledge to my readers...I will start keeping track and sharing the winners and the losers!

Now, what should I make for Sunday dinner?

Barking dogs and screaming kids...

I live out in the woods you see...(do you hear the refrains of Hank Williams? ME TOO!) I live out here for the peace quiet and serenity. I had that for several years. Then the neighbors got a dog. A cute, cuddly canine that runs around the yard and barks at everything. I mean EVERYTHING! That bird flying by? Arf-arf-arf-arf! The butterfly in my yard?  Arf-arf-arf-arf! I can understand some of the barking but when it goes on and on and on like John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, his name is my name toooooo...(thank God you can't hear me sing, I am so pitchy) Oh, sorry. Back to the barking dog...There are some days that he will start at 6:30 in the morning! Winter is bad but I am dreading the whole summer, let's open the window weather,it means it will get even more irritating. The worst part is that the owners are clueless. I once called them at 6:20 am to ask them to SHUT HIM UP!!! In a very nice way only to hear the whiny voice "we don't know what to do with him". Um, I have an idea...how about BRINGING HIM INSIDE? Silly me, that must have been hard to figure out...glad I could help.

Thanks freepixel.com!

Not only do I have dogs to worry about, but a couple of years back our neighbors built a new house and moved. We were anxious to see if we were going to get some good neighbors...well, that was a crap shoot and we knew it. Did we get good neighbors? Well, if you count the fact that they don't associate with the "worldly" heathens that we are...then yes. If you count the kids in their yard...let me see 1..2..3..4..8..12..15...YES!!!! 15!! Then no, not good neighbors. Seriously...I gotta give them kudos for popping that many out and being able to deal with that. Heck, I have 2 that are older and spread apart and feel like I am crazy half the time. So, when neighbor mommy gets tired of listening to the little angels, she does what every other mom would do...sends them outside to share the musical musings of those little darlings (can you hear my teeth grinding as I say that?) crying because they are picking on each other. It is amazing how the sounds just float on a breeze right into my office.

Honey....you know that secluded island getaway up North? Can we leave tomorrow? For good?

Rockin' the Yoga Pants?

You have seen it, the person at the mall who thinks they rock the yoga pant. Really, its more like a boulder in the yoga pants. And I ain't talking about rock solid abs.

Now, before you get in an uproar over what you may perceive as skinny bias...let me clarify something. I am lucky that I have been able to maintain a healthy weight but even I know what I look like in yoga pants and if I don't like what I am seeing, neither would you. Yes, I have a bit of a belly (thanks to my kids!) and my legs are not as smooth as I would like them to be and I am proud to look the way that I do at my age. But, that doesn't mean that I want to flaunt it and make everyone behind me snicker "omg, what was she thinking?". Yoga pants are good for 19 year old string beans, toddlers (really, is there anything cuter?) and...I know...novel idea here but go with it...YOGA CLASS!

I do, however know some non-string bean gals who can pull it off and still look good...so it is possible...you just have to not worry about the size on the tag. But even skinny people can look ridiculous if the yoga pant is too small. Helllllloooooo!!!! Has everyone broken their mirrors? I mean, really....you can get full length mirrors at Walmart for less than $10. Take my advice, get one, use it and the eyes of the world will be happy.

Newsflash...camel toes should only be found on camels! That term is not an endearment!

Appropriate camel toe

Pictures from Wikipedia

Rachel Card Services-Just GO AWAY!

Have you even gotten the message on your answering machine from Rachel at Card Services who needs to talk to you right away? It seems that she is ubiquitous, calling from different numbers several times a day? I have and let me tell you..her voice grinds on me worse than a mosquito buzzing my head, when I am laying in bed in the summer! This girl gets around...she must be some telemarketing call girl...

I have resorted to playing with them...I push the requisite number (it changes from call to call)  to talk to a real person about lowering my credit card interest. I then give credible (not really) credit card debt amounts, then when they ask for numbers from the back of my credit cards to call and confirm my balance...I start questioning them why they need it, how I am supposed to tell my bank my account number without them hearing (they say they will put me on mute when that happens...hmmmm mute....yeah okay. Do you really really think that I fell off the short bus yesterday?) Ok, well then, let me go get my cards...then I put the phone down and walk away while I get my wallet...which so happens to be in the garage..can you hold just a bit?

Then after about 5 minutes...I come back and say something like "oh so sorry, hold on. let me go get my glasses, I am really having a hard time reading these little letters...5 more minutes...then, I really don't have any more time to play games. I say...I actually don't have any credit card debt and please take me off your calling list. Of course, they get mad....darn, so sorry...NOT!!! Needless to say, they don't remove my  number, even when you play nice, they just hang up. The Do Not Call list doesn't help, I think I am up to about 10 complaints now...

I have even gone so far to pretend I was locked in a closet, but apparently the person on the other end had already had heard that one... Dang, I thought I was clever! So I am trying to come up with other ways to keep messing with them...I am open for suggestions...

So if you know who Rachel from Card Services is...let her know that I am looking for her...I would like to rip her...er...um...no, meet her...yeah, that sounds better! Yeah, yeah I want you to tell her that I want to meet her!

Adios!

Love or Hate? Caller ID is a curse!

I am a technology slave...I love my smartphone, I love my TomTom, I love my computer, I love my DVR....the list goes on and on and on...but I have a love-hate relationship with caller ID. I love it for home (most of the time...more on that down below) because I can tell when my favorite friend Rachel, from Card Services calls. I hate it for work it allows people to decide if they really want to pick up that call...is it Chernobyl (true nickname)? Or is it our favorite person in the world calling in with kudos and praise for all we do for them. Oh, sorry, I was dreaming...THAT never happens. Okay, once in a while it does, but certainly not very often.

Caller ID is the scourge of the workplace when you have an incoming call center where everyone knows your name, kind of like Cheers...OH GOSH...its HER calling again...oh HELL NO am I picking that up....let someone else get it. Yes, if you have worked in a call center with CID..you KNOW you did this at least once, just admit it, its cathartic! We all have those callers who just breathe acid and can take your perfectly happy day and turn into something normally reserved for hell. You can just feel the vile dripping from their mouths as if falls on the phone receiver melting all the little electronics into little bumps of mush. It's truly amazing that they can get through life without getting punched once, twice, three times a lady....oh sorry, Lionel Richie crept in with a ballad there...so, today I went out on a limb...I had them turn off the CID at work...I can imagine all the names i am getting called right now. That's okay, I have been called that before and I survived. I told them it would be like Russian Roulette without the bullets! I will update you on THAT progress later this week...wish me luck.

Caller ID at home...when did it become a rule that you don't pick up the phone if you can't see who's calling? Seriously! If my kids can't find a phone with the CID displayed, they won't pick it up. Ahh the days of playing russian roulette with the phone is over.

My next target...Rachel from card services....

Common Courtesy...A Lost Ideal?

Ok...my first rant has to do with people who don't have the thank you gene turned on. WTH ever happened to common courtesy? Is it gene related? Is it just that we live in a messed up world or what?

Have you ever gone out of your way to hold a door open for someone and was met with glaring silence? I mean, no "thank you", no polite smile...or even worse just a grumpy grunt? (Say THAT 10 times fast...lol). If you have, are you secretly wishing for Lady Karma to come back and bite them...or should I say that someone just lets the door go and because they are sooo wrapped up in their own, selfish world that it hits them right in the ugly mug? Me too.

Here's something that I like to do...when they don't say anything I will loudly proclaim..."You are so welcome!" I know it only makes me feel good when they turn around and look shocked but maybe it will give them pause and think about it.

Brings me to my story...I was shopping with my young daughter (10 years old at the time) and she waited for an ENTIRE family of 5 so she could hold the door open for them. And guess what?!?! Yup, you got it. NOT ONE OF THEM said thank you! So, being the mom that I am and because I saw the shocked look on her face and the fact that I was feeling a bit sassy that day...you know what I mean...well, I walked back to the family and confronted them. What? I went there and am proud of it. I crossed the line and called them out.

"Excuse me, do you realize that my daughter stopped, waited for you to get to the door, and kept holding it for each one of you to walk through and not ONE of you could actually say thank you to her? How am I to teach her to be courteous when there are people like you who do this?" I wish I had a camera...it was priceless. My daughter was met with a stammering reply of an utterly embarrassed, "thank you".

So, if you run into this, just give a cheerful, "Your welcome" shout out to the offender...and that would make the world a better place according to me!