Whack a Prius

Are you a road rager?
I am. A dyed in the wool road rager. But only if you make me angry. So warning...DON'T DO IT. This is the only warning you get.

Prius drivers REALLY piss me off. They think they are holier than everything on this earth. All because they drive a "green" car. You know the ones. The wool-sock-sandal-wearing people who hug trees for fun. *shudder*

Daughter and I were on our way back from our girls weekend and had a nice two and a half hour drive ahead of us. Like clockwork, she falls asleep. Seriously? I am tired too you know!!! But like a mom, I suck it up and start tapping my feet to stay awake. I looked like someone having seizures. 70 minutes into the drive,  the Prius Troll passed for the first time.

Now, I drive a Subaru Forester (a new one, not one of the bell-bottom early 2000 models) so it's not like I have a complex of car envy because I have a crappy car. Nope. I just hate Prius drivers. Our neighbor drives a Prius. They are organic, they wear wool socks and sandals, and they are weird.

The Prius Troll was driving the Prius that screams "Look at me...I am saving the planet" (pale green). So she passed me. I was going about 73 mph. The way it flew (flying makes no noise...like the ninja cat hybrids do) she had to have been doing 80. I look over...she's on her phone. Of course.

Fast forward (no pun intended) a few miles down the road...I see her. And I am catching up with her. No worries. Maybe she had to pee. It happens.

So I pass her, still going 73 mph since I have a modern car with CRUISE CONTROL! I blow her away and I see her fading away in the mirror. Dang, she slowed waaaaayyyy down. No phone at her ear. Remember this.

Fast forward again...whoa...what is that coming up behind me so stealthily? Uh-huh...Prius Troll. She's gaining on my butt. She passes me. AGAIN. I see that she is on her phone. Hmm. Is there a pattern here?

Again, I am going 73 mph. Cruise control is a good thing. Just saying.

So I am tip-tapping my way down the road a few more miles...what do I spy? Yup, that dang Prius. Gaining on her. I pass her. As I do, I look over to give her the "look". As in the "WTH are you doing" look. Yessiree Bobby...not on the phone.


Doot-de-doot-de-doot....down the road I go. Look in my rearview mirror...This is really starting to torque me. It's the Troll again.

Me, pissed in a car? Not good. Not good at all.

I speed up and move over into her lane. No way in heck is she passing me AGAIN. I get along side a truck going about the same speed as me. She moves into the truck's lane.

I speed up.

She moves into my lane. I slow down. She moves over. I speed up.

I am getting a sick thrill out of this. (Insert extremely evil laugh track) I continue this for 3 miles. Each time she thinks she is going to get out from under my spell. I whack her. She looked like a drunk. Weaving back and forth between lanes, never knowing which one to be in.

I would have loved to keep messing with her but I gotta pee.

Ah good times.

So all you Prius owners out there...second warning...Don't mess with me!

Would you just move it?

As I have mentioned before, I live a few miles out in the country. No matter where I go, it takes 20-30 minutes to get there. Grocery store...20 minutes, to the mall to shop...20 minutes, pick up a sick kid from school...20 minutes. So every time I have to go somewhere I lose time in my life that I can never get back. Just think if you add 5 minutes on to every trip to town, there and back, how much time that is!!!! Jeez, I could spend that time doing more important things...sheesh.

For those of you who know me...or at least have gotten a glimpse into my life through my ramblings and rants, might have figured out by now that I am not the most patient in the world when it comes to slow drivers, okay slow anything! To make matters worse, I live in the tundra of Minnesota where we have snow or rumors of snow for 6 months out of the year. Yes, I AM cracked in the head for still living here, don't rub it in! But with snow, or heck even the POSSIBILITY of snow, some people simply CANNOT DRIVE in a reasonable manner. You may ask the following. "Reasonable? Whatever do you mean by reasonable driving?"

Well, let me tell you. Reasonable driving means the following...and if you can't do it...just move aside! Or in some cases, GET OFF THE ROAD!!!

• In a 50 mph speed zone...can you at least TRY to get the speedometer up to 45, 50 would be nice but that might be asking you for things you just cannot accomplish. Any slower than that and our cars will be so close, they might have babies...just saying.
•  Did you ever wonder why they painted that line to curve towards the side of the road??? Yeah, THAT one...its a turn lane...you use it to TURN so other cars can keep going! 
• For those turns that don't have a turn lane, but also don't have a stop sign...don't stop before you turn. It may be hard but you CAN turn just by slowing down to a safe speed! Try it, you may like it.
• When traveling down the interstate...the rules of the road dictate that slower drivers need to travel in the right lane. This is so faster drivers (like me) can pass you! In some states, they even have reminders along the side of the road to do this...if you can't read them, should you really be driving?
• While we are on THAT subject...Most cars now have a great technological advancement called CRUISE CONTROL...it keeps your car at a steady speed. No more up and down, up and down in your speeds! You can finally get rid of that malady you thought was motion sickness! So, no, it wasn't the other cars who couldn't figure out their speed and kept passing you...it was you all along.

Now on to parking! I understand that sometimes, it's hard to see the line when it snows. But if there is just a dusting..--------> 

You can still see the lines well enough.....

This next one takes the proverbial cake. Now I get a tad bit miffed when someone can't park between two lines and takes up two spaces in a crowded parking lot...but how in the world can you not see that you have parked like a total idiot?  And that is the world according to me...at least for today!